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Hello world!

Greetings ! This is my first post on my new Blog Site. you will find this site easy to interact with (as opposed to my previous site! LOL)  I welcome your comments and thoughts . This post is about getting, being and staying happy. Not the kind of delirious  fake happiness that makes us want to puke, but the kind of real gut feeling happiness that is like a warm blanket on a cool night.  That’s what I’m talking about! How can we become one of those people who feel satisfied and pleasantly happy most of the time? In my experience, that kind of glow is possible and attainable, the moment we recognize that no one can ‘provide’ it for us, and that it does not depend on what others say or do, but on what WE say and do. We all start out carrying around the stuff we learned early on, and that’s always the place to start our inquiry. Real ongoing happiness  starts with using self-acceptance, humor and bold honesty to begin the process of revising the reactions and mental habits that make us crazy.

Some of us are may be easily triggered by the inefficiency or imperfection or stupidity of others and react with anger and intensity as if  our life depended on getting someone to live up to our expectations. That’s a reaction guaranteed to throw a wrench in the way you relate to others. Face it, an irritable judgmental perfectionist is about as much fun as a passive-aggressive control freak. Not much.

The good news is that as we observe and interrupt our reactions, we not only provide ourselves with opportunities to be clear and direct with people, we also develop more compassion for ourselves and others. We soon recognize how much of our interactions are actually unconscious. We discover that nothing is, “just the way you think “, and  that you certainly can teach an old dog new tricks, and that those new tricks can really improve the quality of our lives and our relationships.  It is never to late to revise our childhood patterns and grow beyond the limitations  created in the past.

We can rewire or replace a belief or opinion that keeps us feeling tense or irritable. It begins when we accept that blame and buck-passing are futile – if you want to be confident and happy, the buck stops with you.

If I want to be happy, the buck stops with me. It’s not your job to ‘make me happy’ or my job to ‘make you happy’ even though this insanity is an accepted belief that often persists into old age. For some people at least, age does bring wisdom, and they at last give up trying to change others, become more accepting of flaws in themselves and others and take responsibility for the life the have left to live.  We don’t have to wait for mid life crises to revise our thinking. We can be free now.

As adults, it is our job to parent ourselves and to sort out the good stuff from the junk from our past. Otherwise we continue to unconsciously replicate the unpleasant reactions and beliefs that work against feeling happy and content.  As we notice, interrupt and redirect the reactions that do not serve us,  we retrain our minds to make better, calmer, clearer choices. In essence, we  can learn how to let go of that which cannot be changed (the behavior of others, for one) and to take direct action to  improve the quality of our lives, jobs and relationships.  Self-acceptance with honesty and  humor. That’s the both the place to begin and the key to having a happier, more laid back attitude.

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